so I went to the doctor today and i’ll go ahead and give ya’ll the lede — I have gallstones.

four of them.

i got my little ultrasound this morning and as i was thinking that the jelly wasn’t as cold as everyone says it is while i wiped it off my stomach, the technician was all “the doctor WILL call you monday.”

me: wait. how do you know? is something wrong? is something WRONG?!

her: well i’m not supposed to “technically” read the slides, but see your gall bladder here. well, it’s supposed to be all black.

pause.

ALL BLACK.

see how it’s not ALL black.

me: frick.

her: ya, there are four gallstones in there. but on the brightside, they seem to line up perfectly.

me: really? that’s the best you’ve got for a “brightside?”

her: well, ya. the doctor will call you monday. i’d stay away from spicy and greasy foods till then.

me: umm. ok. gee. thanks.

me to my mom like five seconds later: holy crap. i KNEW something was ACTUALLY wrong with me. i KNEW it.

oh. frick. something is ACTUALLY wrong with me!! AND i have to wait till MONDAY to find out what happens next.

since then, ive discovered way too much information online about gall stones for own good.

the upside is, i guess they won’t have to stick a camera down my throat and into my stomach.

Advertisements