well the book i read about bein’ vegan SAID my stomach would hurt for like a month after i gave up everything-animal — i assumed it was related to some sort of cheese withdrawal — but it’s been like 2.5 months now, and my stomach still freaking hurts.

oh, and i’m STILL dizzy.

Now, a NORMAL person probably would go see a doctor if they were having stomach problems and getting dizzy.

but im a STUPID person, who likes to rationalize things away under the assumption that my health problems will fix themselves. (i do this with cars too). so in that spirit, here is a list of ten reasons why I really, really, really, don’t want to go see a doctor:

1. i freaking hate finding a doctor covered by my insurance.

2. oh ya, and actually, i just hate insurance companies. they’re so manipulative. they say things like ‘oh, you just have to pay $10 and we’ll cover the rest,’ but what they mean is ‘oh, we said TEN dollars? well, we’ll just bill you the other $3,500 for that test we don’t cover. no big deal right?’

3. i hate when doctors are judgemental. and this really makes me mad, because my junior high health teacher told me this wouldn’t be a problem. so not only do i feel judged, i feel lied to.

4. im worried the doctor will tell me i need to lose weight.

5. and then i will tell the doctor that i’m LOSING weight because im vegan.

6. and then the doctor will tell me that being a vegan is SUPER unhealthy. so I’ll feel guilty about my weight AND my diet. and I’ll go home and cry.

7. Also, I hate when doctors don’t believe you.

me: i have headaches.

doctor: oh. sure you do. here, take advil.

or

me: my stomach hurts

doctor: oh yes, im sure it does. here’s some pepto bismol.

8. worse than that though, is my fear that something really, really awful is wrong with me.

me: i have headaches

doctor: that’s because of your brain tumor.

or

me: my stomach hurts

doctor: that’s because you need a kidney transplant.

9. i hate making doctor’s appointments. umm, i have a REAL job. i can’t just take off for a couple hours during the day, because the stupid doctor only sees patients between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m. monday through friday.

10. also, obviously, i hate getting blood work done.

so that’s why im not going to see a doctor.

if you were wondering.

im sure my body will fix itself though.

no.

big.

deal.

right?

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