editor’s note: I’m not going to specify who I’m supporting (if you’ve ever met me, you know) just in case I have to cover an event where this person is. seeing as how im the paper’s public affairs reporter and all.  

About three years ago, i picked out who i wanted to be for president — and then i prayed every night that this person WOULD run, and because me and God are tight, my plan totally worked.  

After he/she announced they’d be running, I immediately got on the candidate’s e-mail list. And yes, i was living in Iowa at the time so for a few months he/she was only e-mailing me because he/she thought i might caucus for him/her. and maybe i failed to tell this person that I had kind of moved to a state that no longer mattered in the primaries, but i thought (based on his/her long emails that started with “Dear Friend”) that he/she and i had formed a real bond, so such details shouldn’t matter. Then, after the Iowa caucus the candidate kept sending me e-mails. That’s when I knew for sure he/she and I had something that was real — or at least i thought we did.  

But lately, the tone of the e-mails has changed. and for some reason, at the bottom of every one of them is a button labeled ‘donate.’ Which I can’t do, a: because i have no money and b: because I don’t want my name to appear on moneyline. And I really want to explain that to him/her but below the donate button, there’s a sentance explaining that I shouldn’t try to reply to the address — which seems weird for a “friend” to say.

I haven’t like given up on him/her yet, but the whole relationship does seem to be taking a turn for the worse. I’m sure that when he/she gets elected though, all this will stop. I mean he/she only needs some money to get him/her through the next primary, and after that everything will be fine… right? right.