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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

it’s a sneaky drink that jagerbomb.

Posted in humor, im cool, medium, tagged , on August 16, 2008 | 2 Comments »

WARNING: This post may not be suitable for those who think I’m perfect.
So what kind of evil genius said ‘oh, let me just go ahead and mix this alcohol (which relaxes me) with this here energy drink (which, as the name implies, gives me engery) and see what happens’?
seriously. WHO DID THIS?
and why did that REALLY cute guy [...]

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either God’s mad at me, or i owe someone scary money

Posted in humor, long, sh*tty things that happen to me, tagged , , , , , on August 14, 2008 | 3 Comments »

so just to get you guys up to speed:
aside from the fact that three weeks ago, my car died, (detailed here.), I have also, within the past few weeks: gone 24 hours without power, gotten in a car accident and somehow managed to SCRATCH MY EYE.
:: deep breath ::
we’ll go chronologically.
first. there was the infamous power [...]

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im thinking i would do well at nascar

Posted in humor, im cool, long, tagged , , , on August 9, 2008 | No Comments »

im a little worried im going to get in a car accident.
for those of you who don’t live in chi-town(land) let me explain how driving in this area works:
i start out my morning by darting across three lanes of traffic so i can get into the left turn lane.
and before you’re all, “what? why don’t you [...]

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i think ive gained 15 pounds since saturday.

Posted in anti-meat, humor, short, tagged , on August 7, 2008 | No Comments »

so remember how i was all ‘I ATE CHEESE?’
well, i’ve basically been living on pizza since then.
do you think that’s going to be a problem?
oh. don’t worry too much though.
I’ve also had a good, solid amount of ranch dressing.

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seriously, starting over sucks no matter how it goes down

Posted in humor, short, tagged , on August 3, 2008 | 2 Comments »

here’s my confession.
when i was younger i wanted attention. ha. ha. ha. ha.
oh. wait.
THAT’s not my confession. that’s HER confession.
MY confession is:
i dont REALLY like doing EVERYTHING alone.
ya. i pretend that I LOVE going to the movies solo. and that shopping by myself is WAY better. and that i LIKE the quiet i get when [...]

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don’t judge me (i’ll do that myself, thank you)

Posted in anti-meat, humor, im cool, medium, tagged , , on August 2, 2008 | 4 Comments »

ok. ok. i ate some d*mn cheese today.
what? this doesn’t make me a bad person. (right?)
see, what happened was. well. im just SO tired.
seriously.
i even have proof from a doctor.
(and by “proof” i mean “no proof.” but whatever).
here’s the thing, im commuting like INSANE amounts and im not sleeping that much, and i basically leave [...]

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is it ok if i just talk about driving and cars on this blog from now on?

Posted in humor, long, tagged , , on July 30, 2008 | 5 Comments »

sigh.
so driving has officially taken over my existence.
yesterday, there i was, living my little life in mchenry, illinois when i went to start my ford escourt.
only my ford escourt (we’ll call her penelope) wasn’t having it.
she was all ‘ya. im not going to start. i hate that you just use me for your long-a$$ commutes, [...]

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