You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2008.
I will no longer be posting on this site.
If I feel inspired and rich, I might pay for domain forwarding sometime in the future.
Might.
If those who’ve been nice enough to put me on their blog rolls could please update the link, I’d be ever so grateful. And don’t fret, I’m in the process of moving my own blogroll to the new site, it’s just a tedious process, so it’s taking awhile.
editor’s note: the following post is kind of weird. if’d you like to keep thinking of me as perfect, feel free to skip.
i think im being punished by some weird gross god for my under-appreciation of people who can make themselves burp the alphabet.
see, im on this medicine for whatever the heck is wrong with my stomach (for those keeping track, i do have an appointment with a surgeon monday to discuss taking out my gall bladder, i’ll update you on how that goes) and it’s making me burp like crazy.
we’re talking like 30 to 50 times a day.
and to be honest, im not even sure it’s the medicine becuase it doesn’t seem to be listed as a possible side-effect, but i can’t think of anything else that could be causing this.
they’re aren’t like loud belches or anything, just little ones.
but they happen all. day. long. and they’re d*mn annoying.
im trying to stick to non-air filled beverages such as water, water and water , but the burps don’t seem to notice a difference. for all they care, i could have just drank a gallon of pepsi from a gas station fountain.
and sometimes, i get really uncomfortable, becasue i can feel that my body needs to burp and i can’t muster one up. are there tricks im unware of? i’ve seen self-inflicted burps on tv shows about manly-men, and my conclusion is that there must be a way to make my body do this on command. (just burped. right now. true story). if anyone out there has some tips, i’d be happy to accept. and if you feel weird telling your burping stories, you could always just say “i have this friend” and i promise not assume it’s actually you.
so remember that whole match.com thing I mentioned in that one sentence in that one post? well. It’s going well.
last night i went to a boy’s house and he made me dinner.
DID YOU READ THAT? he MADE me dinner!
and it’s my understanding that the food was not at one point frozen or in any sort of plastic container covered with plastic. it’s also my understanding that it did not have to pass through a drive-through window to get to my plate.
now, you might be all, OH NO! what if he didn’t buy the wine you like? or. what if he bought icky salad dressing? or. what if he accidently put bacon in something?
don’t fret. 1. he got both red AND white just to be safe. 2. he disowned his italian heritage and bought ranch dressing because i told him i like it. and 3. the whole meal was meat free.
and he’s pretty cute, and sweet, and he recently went on vacation and while away sent me a post card, which made me smile for about 27 hours straight.
and im not sure where all this is going to go, but i just wanted to take a moment to be happy, because i kinda, really like him.
1. I do not understand what the proper etiquette is for the bulletin the ushers give out. (for you heathens out there, the bulletin is what they hand you when you walk in. it has a list of the songs and verses for the day’s service as well as church announcements, such as (but not limited to): upcoming bake sales, christmas pageants and requests for tube socks and non-electric can openers).
PEOPLE! it has the WORD OF GOD written all over the freaking thing. how the heck am I supposed to throw that away? I have determined that it would be COMPLETELY unacceptable to throw it away AT church (seeing as how nobody else seems to ever do this), but I also HATE bringing it home, because i end up feeling guilty about throwing it away there too. then i keep it for like three months before i finally break down and recycle it.
2. during the meet and greet portion in the beginning of service i have this unjustified fear that i will forget that i already shook someone’s hand, then shake their hand again and they they’ll be offended that i forgot about them in under two seconds.
3. i’ve been getting really into church lately, and it’s not like this is a out-of-nowhere thing. i was raised christian and all. but im secretly worried that after Christmas the high will wear off. will church still be fun after they take down the 12-foot tree near the alter? is that when i should start counting down the days till easter?
4. i wish i could sing. if i could sing i’d TOTALLY be in the freaking choir. sometimes i wonder if i can fake it long enough to join because christians don’t usually reject people, but i know in my heart that i’d never get through hymn number 2042.
5. tithing is HARD. i mean HARD. i’ve decided 8 percent of my income after taxes is the best i can do for now. (note to God: i would like to point out that i do volunteer for stuff, so i figure that makes up the extra 2 percent).
6. during children’s time at church last week, the pastor explained that jesus lives in our heart. on child (and possible future surgeon) said ‘if we get an x-ray machine, can we see him then?’ sounded like a valid question to me.
7. i don’t want my list to have six things on it because that’s the devils number.
you said what??!