You are currently browsing the monthly archive for November 2008.
Things I’m thankful for:
1. ultrasounds. seriously, how the heck would the doctors have known about my gallstones had they not been able to use the magical device that lets them see INSIDE me?
2. cheap gas prices. enough said.
3. my family’s love of mario kart. we all just sit around and play it on my mom’s supa big tv. and then we talk smack. and then i beat my brother steve because I’m awesome. and for once, from age 9 to 25, we all have something in common.
4. tofurky. have you TRIED this stuff? I can’t find any place near my house that sells it, but woodman’s in rockford sells it, so I bought $50 worth last night. true story. expect my breath to smell lake fake turkey for the next month or so.
5. having a job that coordinates with my major. YES, i get STA-RESSED (that’s stressed) at work. but at the end of the day, at least I’m not asking people if they want fries with that. or worse, if they’d like another press release (that’s a jab at pr people, for those who didn’t notice) (i kid because I’m jealous of how much pr people make).
6. match.com. i joined because my roommate wrote a REALLY nice testimonial about me, and then people sent me e-mail that match.com assured me were from THE ONE, so I paid $35 for a month of service and read the e-mails. and for now all I’m going to say is that things are going well. (we’ll talk more about this later).
7. attached garage. which i have. and which allows me to avoid the age-old midwestern task of scrapping off my car in the morning.
8. football. because i can call my dad during the game and tell him I love hester and gould and he repliys that he loves them too (except when the packers kick their butts) (then we just cry together).
9. my church. finding a church is hard. finding a church that says the “Our Father,” has open communion and stained glass windows, and supplies me with apple pie occasionally is harder. i’ve found one. and i really like it.
10. blogs.
so I went to the doctor today and i’ll go ahead and give ya’ll the lede — I have gallstones.
four of them.
i got my little ultrasound this morning and as i was thinking that the jelly wasn’t as cold as everyone says it is while i wiped it off my stomach, the technician was all “the doctor WILL call you monday.”
me: wait. how do you know? is something wrong? is something WRONG?!
her: well i’m not supposed to “technically” read the slides, but see your gall bladder here. well, it’s supposed to be all black.
pause.
ALL BLACK.
see how it’s not ALL black.
me: frick.
her: ya, there are four gallstones in there. but on the brightside, they seem to line up perfectly.
me: really? that’s the best you’ve got for a “brightside?”
her: well, ya. the doctor will call you monday. i’d stay away from spicy and greasy foods till then.
me: umm. ok. gee. thanks.
me to my mom like five seconds later: holy crap. i KNEW something was ACTUALLY wrong with me. i KNEW it.
oh. frick. something is ACTUALLY wrong with me!! AND i have to wait till MONDAY to find out what happens next.
since then, ive discovered way too much information online about gall stones for own good.
the upside is, i guess they won’t have to stick a camera down my throat and into my stomach.
1. I have been wearing my right contact for WAY too long. But for some crazy reason, I only have two right-eye contacts left despite the FIVE 5 left-eye contacts i have (no. i don’t know how i got all uneven, but I’m going to go ahead and blame it on the eye-scratch i got over the summer) (why? because it’s the only thing i can come up with). Anyway, I don’t want to switch it out for a new one yet. Instead, at night, I just close my right eye when trying to read neon signs as a means of keeping the blur factor down.
2. Seriously, it’s gets dark at like noon now. WTF? All i want to do is sleep and watch primetime, but then I realize that i have like 6 hours of work in front of me. Winter sucks. (Although I AM happy that there seems to be less snow so far this year.).
3. While we’re on the topic of winter, I’m pretty sure my car hates the season. the other day my friend was all “that’s your CAR making that noise? I thought it was the city’s tornado drill.” I should probably get it fixed, but I’m scared it’s going to cost me my life savings. instead, i will just continue to believe that either a. god will fix it or b. it will fix itself.
4. for those of you who don’t stalk me on facebook and therefore don’t already know this, i dyed my hair supa dark this weekend in honor of winter. (see pic below). also, call me crazy, but i really do think the black hair makes my head look thinner.
i know i need to get my bangs cut. but what do you think of the COLOR?
5. I joined match.com. yeppers, I did. and it’s going well so far. but if i get murdered and thrown in a ditch sometime soon, be sure to tell the cops about the guys on my ‘favorites’ list, because it was probably one of them.
6. I KNOW that i still need to design my other site (where I do in fact put copies of all my posts, if you’d just like to get in the habit of going there instead), but the problem is I can’t figure out how directorys work and i have a sneaky suspicion that i need to download something from wordpress.org onto a desktop. seeing as how i don’t actually HAVE a desktop, i’ve instead decided to avoid the problem for the near future. there is hope though, because i plan to get a laptop during one of those day after thanksgiving sales. (yes, I KNOW i should spend the money on my car instead. but you want me to BLOG don’t you? don’t you!)
so you’re proably all ‘where the heck have you been GIRL?!’
im sorry I haven’t been posting. The problem is, when I go to post, I get frustrated that I haven’t quite designed my other blog yet. But I’m always too tired to figure out how to do it, so instead of even logging in i just go give up.
anyway, here I am. The other blog is still design free (aside from the purple and pink think I figured out at the top), but I’ve given in and decided to post regardless.
so, for those of you keeping track, i did in fact go to the doctor this week. and it wasn’t the end of the world that i thought it was going to be.
this is how i pictured it going:
me: so my stomach has been hurting
the doctor: oh. ya. you’re dying. did nobody tell you that? well, we’ll just try to make you as comfortable as possible.
OR
me: so my stomach has been hurting
the doctor: oh. ya. right. sure it has. well you just rest your head here and take this little pill (hands me a flinstone vitamin). there. all better? that’ll be $7,549 dollars. Thanks.
But instead, the doctor let me blab for like a half hour of every. single. detail of my symptoms and then made some thoughtful points. as it stands i have to get an ultrasound on my gallbladder done next week, while i simultaneously take a acid-blocker to fight off possible gastritis.
all of that sound just fine and dandy. except that if nothing works or turns up anything then.
oh man.
THEN!!!
then, i have let some quack put a camera down my throat and into my stomach.
i have been assured that this test hardly hurts and that when I wake up from the half-sleep (called ‘twilglight for which i can only assume are pr purposes) I’ll hardly remember a thing.
umm. HALF-SLEEP. WTF? I don’t want to be HALF asleep when i gag to near death. i want to be out. jebus!
anywho. im hoping I’ll never have to worry my pretty little head about such matters, because im hoping the problem will just fix itself. (see also: crystal’s attitude toward car problems).
however, my worries have not yet dwindled. you see, my lovely roommate has told me that if the problem is in fact my gall bladder it might have to be taken out.
threw my belly button.
yes.
apparently, THAT’S what that’s there for.
so that when I’m 25 the doctors can go in and suck out my organs.
sigh.
so there you have it. you’re officially updated on my life. did you miss me?
because i have visions of fame, google ad revenue and quitting my day job dancing in my head, i finally got my own url.
(drum roll please)
it.
is.
www.sevenlayerburritos.com (hat tip scvegan for the inspiration. and also to my lovely co-worker who helped me buy it) (I’m not sure if she wants her name in my blog, so we’ll just continue to call her ‘lovely co-worker’).i have even installed wordpress on it. go ahead. take a look.
ok. you’re back? well you may have notice that I haven’t done anything else. that’d be because I have NO IDEA what i need to do now. im feeling pretty good about myself for getting this far though, so there’s that.
in conclusion, setting up the new site is going to take some time, so be patient. but i promise to let you know asap when it’s up and running and I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
and for those of you who don’t know me very well, the name sevenlayerburritos.com is inspired by the fact that i literally eat at taco bell every day (no. im not misusing literally here. i really do). and i almost always order the seven layer burrito. and even when i was vegan, i ordered it without cheese and sour cream. (therefore making it a five-layer burrito). anyway, if you’ve never tried one, you should. because they rock.
yesterday, there i was walking black jack (the dog, not the card) when my stomach started to hurt. again.
and i was all, ‘it’ll probably go away’ and i strolled off to the evening activities at church. but i didn’t go away.
at all.
actually it just got much worse. and when i came home my roommate was all ‘is the same thing as last time?’ and i said ‘yes.’ and she said ‘well why don’t you take the prescription you have.’ and i said ‘oh, that? i kinda never got that filled.’
and she was all “WHAT?! GO GET IT FILLED RIGHT NOW.”
so i did.
but it didn’t help with the pain. and i went upstairs to my bedroom to cry and pace and pray. but nothing worked. so after some careful consideration and the feeling that death was near, i sucked it up and asked my roommate to take me to the hospital.
and she took one look at me (later she would describe my face as completely pale and my eyes completely dark) and said ‘let’s go.’
on the way there I sat in every possible position i could find in the front seat trying to get comfortable while still wearing my seat belt and she tried not to make eye contact as i told her if labor is worse than this im never having kids.
when i got into the hospital, i signed away my life and asked for a throw-up bucket. (which, my roommate described as one step above a solo cup). then i threw up. and i swear to you i tried my best to get it all in the cup or the toilet. but i might have missed a bit and gotten some on the floor. so my poor roommate alerted the nurses, who responded by acting like people throw up in the emergency room waiting area bathroom every day.
i promptly got another throw up cup.
and threw up in it.
and i thought i was being all coy about the whole throwing up thing, seeing as how i had made it past the bathroom door both times, but i later realized that the room was not, shall we say, soundproof.
aside from the audible gagging, i succeeded in making everyone in the waiting room uncomfortable, as i repeatedly mumbled, ‘i think im going to die. what if i die before the election? i don’t want to die. im probably going to die while i wait for them to call my name. i don’t want to die.”
my roommate tried her best to be supportive by saying things like ‘i looked at the chart in the nurses area and it says that if you describe your pain as a 7 or above they have to treat you immediately. but you described yours as ‘a six or seven’ do you want me to go tell them that it is now an 8?’
me: ‘no. that’s ok.’
and then, about an hour later, i finally got into the see the doctor. well, actually the nurse. the doctor took MUCH longer to find his way to my room. but the nurse gave me an iv (during which my roommate let me squeeze her hand). and then i started feeling better. but my roommate was all ‘i think we’ve established that even though you feel better, you are not actually better.’ and i was all, ‘oh. ya. right.’
and then the doctor strolled in, totally ignored my in-depth description of my stomach pain and proceeded to reiterate that i have gastritis. and then he told me I HAVE to go see a regular doctor (note to readers: stop yelling at me. i already have an appointment for a week from Wednesday).
and then my roommate drove me home. and even though she had to work in the morning, she promptly googled gastritis. and made sure i wasn’t going to die overnight or anything.
and then she went to sleep. and the next day she was totally cool about the whole thing, claiming she wasn’t tired at all. and i believed her.
until i saw her taking a nap on her lunch break.
and that’s how you know she’s awesome. because even though she couldn’t keep her eyes open, she never once complained about taking me to the hospital. she just sucked it and did it. and then did her best to not let me die before the election.
you said what??!